


Leise Rieselt der Schnee

by Multishipperlove



Series: Zemnian Roots [3]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Barren Eve, Gen, I'll be honest this was just to satisfy my holiday cravings, Molly (mentioned) - Freeform, Not Canon Compliant, Yasha (mentioned) - Freeform, zemnian
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-21
Updated: 2019-12-21
Packaged: 2021-02-26 06:21:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,169
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21878815
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Multishipperlove/pseuds/Multishipperlove
Summary: Caleb decides to have a mini celebration for Barren Eve. Everyone else somehow ends up joining him.
Series: Zemnian Roots [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1488566
Comments: 8
Kudos: 132





	Leise Rieselt der Schnee

**Author's Note:**

> After the Fireseide Chat and Matt telling us about Barren Eve I needed to write this, even if it doesn't match the timeline. Also, Caduceus has no idea what's going on, he's just being a good good supportive friend.  
> Please enjoy and let me know what you think!

Caleb always knows what time it is. He knew the date and the month and what year it was, didn't even have to think about it. So despite the fact that they were in Xhorhas, a city where the longest night of the year does not matter because the sun never rises, he knew that today was Barren Eve.

It's a holiday he hasn't cared about for a long time. He doesn't have a reason to, after all.

But today, he feels different. It's a calm evening for once, not that that's necessarily a good sign. Caduceus is tending to his garden, Jester and Fjord are out running errands somewhere, Nott is in the laboratory working on her crossbow and Beau is- well he's not sure where Beau is. Probably in the house somewhere. But he knows they are all trying to keep busy, because if they didn't they would have to admit that they are no step further with what they are actually trying to accomplish.

There had been no lead about Yasha in the past weeks, and despite Jester's and Caduceus' best efforts she had managed to avoid every single one of their scrying attempts. So they were stuck, and everyone was trying to distract themselves. And it was Barren Eve.

With a soft sigh, Caleb closed his book. The tiny text had finally managed to give him a headache, and with his realisation of the holiday there was little hope in continuing his work. Instead he snapped his fingers, calling up Frumpkin, and letting the cat curl up in his lap.

The gentle purring sound that started up almost immediately soothed him a bit, just like the feeling of the soft fur beneath his fingers. With Frumpkin acting as a sturdy rock in stormy weather, Caleb finally allowed himself to do something very rare.

He thought back on his childhood.

_Leise rieselt der Schnee  
_ _Still und starr ruht der See  
_ _Anmutig glänzet der Wald  
_ _Freue dich, Morgen kommt bald_

One Barren Eve in particular. He had still been a little boy then, not much older than four, maybe five years old. It had been the first year he'd been allowed to come to the Church of Pelor with his parents for the evening's service.

Just walking through their village that day, seeing the lights everywhere, it had been an incredible experience. The whole way from the town's centre to the church had been lined with hundreds and hundreds of candles, lighting the way for the town's people.

“A candle for every fallen soldier, now and a thousand years ago,” his father had told him, before picking him up to make sure he wouldn't vanish in the freshly fallen snow. And as they reached the church his mother had given him a copper piece, told him to pick out a candle for himself and light it, so they would have one to hold during the service.

The sermon had taken more than two hours, but Caleb had hung onto every word the priest uttered, while being securely held in his father's lap.

“Take care of your candle”  
“Don't let it go out”  
“Careful with the fire, or you will burn yourself,” he had been told, whispered to him over and over as his father helped with keeping the little stump steady in his four year old hands.

He didn't remember this part, but had been told that by the time the priest said his last words, he'd been fast asleep. Despite his excitement, his body's desire for sleep had won that day.

Letting out a breath of relief, Caleb let go of the memory and came back to the present. He could feel tear tracks down his face, and angrily wiped them away before anyone could see. He was still alone and in his own room, but also knew very well that some of his friends didn't understand the concept of knocking very well.

Before he could get lost in any other memories, he decided to get up and make his way downstairs. Maybe he would find someone else to spend some time with, instead of sitting up here alone and drowning in his own sorrow again.

With that thought in mind, it was definitely disappointing to see the living room area of the Xhorhaus empty at the moment. But he told himself it was okay, that just being in one of the common rooms was... better. Somehow. He couldn't quite explain it, but decided that it didn't matter either.

Disturbing any of the others just because he felt lonely did not seem right either, so he settled down in one of the big chairs, trying to relax again. He still felt restless though, constantly tapping his foot on the floor.

Frumpkin, who'd followed him downstairs after complaining about being dislodged from his earlier resting place, now sat in front of him and stared him down. The cat blinked once, twice, and then meowed at him, sounding accusatory.

Caleb stared back for a moment but then sighed again. “Alright, alright. Maybe you are right. But let's not make this a habit, ja.”

He got up and spend a minute or two looking around for a candle. Not just any candle, he wanted it to be at least a little bit... not pretty, necessarily. But special. He wasn't sure what would account as special in a candle, but surely that would show itself if he found the right one.

And it did, kind of. In some back-drawer in the kitchen, he finally stumbled over a little stump of a candle that he was pretty sure he'd seen Caduceus use to keep his tea warm a few times. Not unlike the one he had picked out with his single copper piece, nearly thirty years ago. Hoping that his friend wouldn't mind, he took it back to the living room with him and placed it on the little coffee table sitting right in the middle of their assortment of armchairs and sofas.

Caleb kneeled down in front of it. He closed his eyes, not reciting a prayer like he was supposed to do but taking a minute of silence, before lighting the candle with a cantrip. “For Yasha,” he said quietly. “And for Molly. For- my family.”

He stared into the flame for a few more moments, and then settled back down in the chair. It felt better now, just sitting there in silence, and he was finally able to calm down. Frumpkin seemed satisfied as well and jumped back onto his lap, curling up into a tight ball before going back to sleep.

It didn't take long for Caleb to start humming to himself, a tune he remembered from the service that night. It was slow, but full of warmth and a weird sense of nostalgia. And unlike many of the classical Barren Eve ballads he knew, it focused more on the hope the next morning would bring instead of all the things that had already been lost to the night.  
  
_In den Herzen wirds warm  
__Still schweigt Kummer und Harm  
__Sorge des Lebens verhallt  
__Freue dich, Morgen kommt bald_

He sat by himself for a while, until he could eventually hear footsteps coming down from Beau's room. For a moment he considered extinguishing the flame and pretending that he had been down in the living room for no other reason than his headache. But he didn't want to disturb his cat again, and also... Beau was from the empire as well. She probably wasn't very big on holidays, but he hoped that she would at least understand.

“Hey, Caleb, have you-” she stopped, just reaching the bottom of the stairs now. And there must have been something in his face, because he could see her mentally piecing everything together in a few seconds. “You, uh, want some time by yourself?”

“No, some company would be nice,” he admitted, freely for once. “You don't have to, of course, I just-”

“No no, it's fine,” she assured him quickly, though she took a step back. “Let me just get something.”

He watched her leave, curious to see what she was talking about. And really, he shouldn't be surprised, he thought, as she came back shortly later with a candle of her own. Considering the colour and the way it was made, Caleb was sure she had nicked it from one of the Cobalt Soul locations.

Similar to what he had done, Beau knelt down in front of the table to place the candle down, lighting it on the little stump that had already been burning for a while now. But she didn't stay down, instead getting up again immediately, crossing her arms over her chest.

“For Yasha. And for Molly,” she said, as if she was announcing it to the room. Then, much quieter, she added: “And for Dairon.”

She sat down on the sofa after that, and they settled into a comfortable silence. But again, it didn't hold for long. Nott was the next to come upstairs, and, being from the Empire as well, grasped what was going on fairly quickly as well.

The candle she lit on Caleb's looked like she had taken it from her workspace, still grimy with soot and whatever else she'd been handling, but burning just fine.

“For Yasha, and Molly. And for Yeza and Luc,” she said, staying on her knees a bit longer before scooting back and leaning against Caleb's legs, apparently more comfortable on the floor.  
  
None of them had noticed Caduceus watching until then, but Caleb spotted their friend at the top of the stairs just as Nott was finishing. The firbolg disappeared again, and at first Caleb thought he was just giving them space. After all, he was sure that Caduceus had never heard of Barren Eve.

But their friend surprised them all when he joined again a moment later, a candle of pure bee's wax in his hand. He didn't kneel down, not familiar with the tradition, just bend over to light it on Caleb's stump and straightened up again after making sure it stood securely.

“For Yasha. For Molly. For my family and all those we have buried,” he said, his soothing baritone ringing through the room. They all nodded, and he sat down next to Beau to join them in their silence.

Another twenty minutes later Caleb was close to falling asleep, just as he heard the front door opening and the tell-tale sound of Caduceus' wind chimes that always followed. Probably aware that it was late, Fjord and Jester tried to stay quiet on their way inside, frequently hushing each other.

Caleb smiled to himself, and had to stifle a laugh as he heard one of them push something over in the hallway, sending whatever it was clattering to the ground. He heard Fjord curse, and a moment later the half orc and the tiefling finally stepped into the living room.

“Oh, hey... you guys are still awake,” Fjord greeted them, obviously confused as he saw the four of them sitting around their little candle collection.

Caleb just gave a nod, but caduceus quickly waved them over to himself. After a few shared whispered words, Caleb could see understanding dawn on both of their faces. More cautious on Fjord's part, but Jester seemed immediately excited. “Oooh, that sounds great!” she whispered, though it came out more like a stage whisper. “Can we join?!”

Caduceus answered, quiet enough so Caleb couldn't actually hear him, and they both nodded and walked off. Just like everyone else, they came back with a candle each.  
  
“I wanna go first!” Jester insisted, more or less quietly, as she sat down cross-legged in front of the table and lit her candle on Caleb's. “So this is for Yasha,” she started. “And for Molly. And for my Mama, and Bluud, and for Nugget and Sprinkles, and for Essek, and-”  
  
Fjord stopped her with a gentle hand on her shoulder, prompting her to look up at him. “That's- I think that's enough people, Jester,” he said gently. “Let me?”  
  
“Oh, sure!” She stood up again, letting Fjord take her place. He knelt down properly, cleared his throat, and lit his candle on Caleb's before placing it besides Jester's. His was plain and white, while hers was a long, red, elegant looking one. Caleb was sure he'd seen them at the Lavish Chateau the last time they'd been there.

“For Yasha,” Fjord started, and Caleb recognized the tone he used. He had heard it before when Fjord was speaking to the Wildmother, or simply looking for guidance. “For Molly. And for every single person in this room.”

_Heut' ist heilig die Nacht  
_ _Chor der Engel erwacht_  
_Hört nur wie lieblich es schallt:  
_ _Freue dich, Morgen kommt bald_

Caleb's candle started to flicker, almost burned down completely by now. But despite the never-ending night in Xhorhas, he took comfort in knowing that the morning would come soon, and with it... there would always be hope.

**Author's Note:**

> And for everyone who's interested, as always, here's a translation of the song (the original is more directly geared towards christmas, I changed the text a bit):
> 
> Softly falls the snow,  
> Quiet and frozen rests the lake.  
> Grazeful sparkles the forest:  
> Rejoice! Morning will soon be here.
> 
> In our hearts it’s warm,  
> Silent are sorrow and grief,  
> Life’s worries fade away:  
> Rejoice! Morning will soon be here.
> 
> Today the night is holy,  
> Choir of angels awakes,  
> Just hear how lovely it sounds:  
> Rejoice! Morning will soon be here.
> 
> And a youtube link in case you don't know it and would like to give it a listen: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2HY28Acy1N8


End file.
